Welcome, you scoundrels! Today, in the basements of the AUR CAN transitional government of Romania, our nation-loving extremists and conspiracy theorists Simion and Gavrilă issued a revolutionary plan: all Romanians get their Baccalaureate back! Including ex-president Mr. Băsescu – round 2 of Romanian Election, Baccalaureate back!

Georgică Simion from AUR party stated bluntly:

If our cosmic and omnipresent brother, who watches over us from Vienna, promised soda in an envelope and ketchup on tap – and not from Obor market, from the Turks, but from our butchers at Central Electoral Office – we give the Baccalaureate back! You accused us of being uneducated, but we read from the verses of our beloved Costel a’ lu’ Leana lu’ Pârțag: «Well, don’t make me give you a headache anymore!»

At that moment, his colleague Anamaria Gavrilă – who we don’t know how she got here, probably fished out of the river – took a few steps, thought deeply and declared:

I followed my colleague’s advice to implement the sacred expression in the party: “What are you doing, you’re leaving me with these nerves?”

George Simion (AUR party):

Sensational!

Anamaria Gavrilă (CAN party):

But that’s not all! The Great Leader changes the party’s motto! From today, our motto is: We suck the brains of young people because we CAN, man!

And so, CAN party becomes:

“Citizens Against Nation party”

In conclusion, George Simion also promised:

We take everything, cheap!

And he disappeared in a cloud of exhaust, perhaps towards Moldova region, where the victims are still waiting for the promised houses (at 35,000 euros each).

Hope dies last!

If you laughed, read also Călin Georgescu’s First Round Voters Defend Themselves!

This article is a pamphlet.

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Disclaimer:

So, if it makes you feel sick to your stomach, it might be because it’s about someone you respect, admire, or support. So, I promise it won’t happen again… until next time.