⚠️ Context: Who are these people in the Romanian political circus?

To navigate this “semi-hurricane” of democracy, here is a field guide to the cast of this satirical fever dream:

• Nicuşor Dan: The current General Mayor of Bucharest, an activist-turned-politician, is mocked or praised for his “mathematical” and sometimes awkward public appearances.
• George Simion: A controversial, high-energy populist leader known for his nationalist rhetoric and aggressive social media presence.
• Ilie Bolojan: A highly respected administrator (former mayor of Oradea), currently the prime minister, seen as the “technocratic savior” or the “cleaner” sent to fix the national budget.
• Emil Boc: The former Prime Minister, famous for the 2010 austerity measures, was hardly criticized from this “budgetary axe”.
• Klaus Iohannis: The outgoing President of Romania, a former mayor of Sibiu, was often criticized in his second term for being “absent” or “too slow” to react.
• Tudor Chirilă: A famous Romanian rock star (Vama Veche) and actor, known for his vocal social activism and for being a polarizing figure among different generations.
• Ion Luca Caragiale: The “Shakespeare of Romania,” a 19th-century playwright whose satirical works about political incompetence remain hauntingly relevant today.
• Nicolae Ceauşescu: The infamous communist dictator of Romania (1965–1989) was killed during the 1989 Revolution on Christmas Day.
• Baba Vanga: A legendary Bulgarian mystic and clairvoyant

The election campaign is over; have the bobbleheads been shaken too much? The curtain has been drawn, that’s it, now it’s quiet. The handball goal is being shot at: An air shot, Nicuşor Dan!

Mr. Nicuşor Dan, didn’t you want to overshadow Cristina Neagu in her retirement match? I understand, but with this memory, did you want her to end her career with a flop shot?

Wait, what, the political circus isn’t over?

Well, here we are with the elections: Nicușor Dan defeated the beast, or George Simion defeated the “thing.”

Now, half the neighbors are against the other half. They shake their cigarettes at each other’s heads because they don’t sit by the window like they used to: do they smoke in the kitchen now?

But it’s okay: I think they’re pouring ashes on their heads on Facebook; anyway, now the priorities are different: deficits, the euro, vacations that won’t be borrowed – I say!

You’ve got us going well because we were sitting around in vain, and Dostoevsky, Caragiale, and Tudor Chirilă were withering away in the library.

Okay, Chirilă has been washed up for a long time. He didn’t have to write a book for us to realize.

Maybe it was suitable for some young people, who also read a second book in their lives:

What did you read, sweetie: Harap-Alb and Chirilă? Bravo, go buy yourself another Lamborghini!

We struggled, we shook our elbows, what the people wanted came out, like in the time of Nicolae Ceauşescu, what else – it’s a semi-hurricane, pardon democracy.

It’s the Jupiter operation. Money is being transferred from old accounts to new accounts; many of us would like Jupiter to descend upon us; we can’t afford it, maybe at most a mount of Venus.

It’s a sacrificial government; the Social Democrats (PSD) are thinking about whether to start a parliamentary revolution, while others are looking into their mouths as if they were Baba Vanga (Bulgarian mystic).

In the meantime, Bolojan has gone on a warm-up tour; he has winter tires, and they will have a hard time warming up. He’s the new Emil Boc now, and the coalitions and non-coalitions have agreed that Ilie Bolojan will wash away their sins.

There was also a German who left the city of Sibiu, all nice and beautiful, to Bucharest, where he got roasted. And it is not Santa Klaus down the chimney; it is the other Klaus: Iohannis.